I don’t know why I find this so funny. Thanks to whoever made this.
Happy New Year! 2013: what a year it was. I like sunrises, I like new beginnings. That inner voice that says, “I’m going to get it right this time.” New beginnings are important. If they don’t excite you, you may have a problem with hope.
One of my resolutions is to do one small creative thing each day. It can be two minutes or two hours, but it is essential. I am so much happier when I am not passively going through the motions of life. You don’t have to be a “creative type” to do “creative” things. Being creative is simply manifesting something–anything–that didn’t exist before. It could be cooking or organizing a committee or writing a lesson plan. One creative outlet that I have that I have neglected is this blog. So, I’ll write little bits as insights come to me.
Truthfully, I’ve neglected a lot in the past few month since returning home. I haven’t dealt with anything concerning my two years in Japan. My lost package, my tax refund, getting in touch with friends I left behind—nothing. Partially, this is because when I move on from something, I move on completely. The bigger reason is that some memories are just too painful. Yes, I’m still thrilled to be home, but I miss a lot of the people I met in Japan. Just going through the photos of my last few months in Japan makes me extremely emotional. Why don’t I Skype or write letters to those I miss? I don’t know. Opening a wound? Trying to turn something into what it isn’t anymore?
That brings me to another resolution that I haven’t completely committed to yet: get back in touch with people. I’m awful at that stuff. Expecting people to just know that you care about them even though you’re not keeping in touch is ridiculous and inconsiderate. Still, I hope people know I do care about them, even when I’m feeling evasive.
Writing here about the past two years should be a cathartic experience that will hopefully make me less paralyzed about it. I’ve been repressing a lot of experiences that need to be talked about. During all the seminars about reverse culture shock that I was subjected to, speakers would always say, “Don’t talk about Japan all the time because nobody cares.” This has been true. When people ask me, “How was Japan?” what they really want to hear is, “Cool, thanks.” Most people don’t actually want to know about my incredible experience. I know that and I understand. However, it put me in an odd position during my first couple of months back home. I had NOTHING to talk about except my time in Asia. So, I just spent a lot of time being quiet, not chiming into conversations. It was a little depressing. Thankfully for my social life, I’ve now been back long enough to have things to talk about that don’t relate to my life in Asia. I feel normal again, not like I’m leading a double life.
Well, I guess that’s it for now. Here’s to 2014 and accomplishing all the things!
The Adventures of Punkrockpaco 